I have been all over the place and not like travelling to exotic places, but instability everywhere. I am sick of moving all the time and uprooting my family: it breaks my heart. Now that Olivia will be starting school, I don't want her to make friends and then lose them. It's not fun to be the new girl over and over. I have always looked at relocating as a fresh start, but it's not fresh at all. I am so impulsive that I don't even think about what our family needs in a location. It's not easy to figure this out.
Being born and raised all over Ottawa nearly my whole life, makes it difficult to for me to settle in one spot. I always manage to find something wrong and can talk or write my way out of nearly anything. I feel like when things are going good I can accept the current situation, but if something falls slightly out of place I have to urge to flip EVERYTHING around. I don't like to sit in my set backs, who does? I know set backs are normal and the average family experience many, but how is it that my set backs throw me in a tail spin that I struggle so hard to get out of. I want so badly to be successful, and have a cozy home and well cared for children. It it too much to expect all of this for my life? I don't think so. Aparently I actually expect much more, but get so overwhelmed by everything I hope to accomplish that I can't even stick to one of them.
I need to pull it together. I think I might be becoming lazy or too dependant on other people. I need to grow up.
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